


you could give an aspirin the headache of its life

by closingdoors



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F, charity forgetting noah exists is tired, in 2019 we write charity as a good mother @emmerdale, this is my hill and i will die on it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 18:17:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17492849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/closingdoors/pseuds/closingdoors
Summary: "She forgot about me.""Noah, I'm sure she didn't - ""She did. She said those exact words."Vanessa sighs, silently cursing Charity's big mouth.A scene which takes place following Friday 18th January's episode, because I'm bored of Charity always forgetting Noah exists.





	you could give an aspirin the headache of its life

You could give an aspirin the headache of its life  
Maybe it's the crazy that I'd miss  
**Turn, The Wombats**

 

* * *

 

 

Ryan's the last of the crowd to leave. Vanessa walks him to his car as Charity begins clearing away the mess that their friends and family had made inside.

"Drive carefully," Vanessa tells him pointedly.

"I only had one drink.  _And_ it was a single." He grins up at her through the open window. "Who're you, my evil stepmother?"

She feels her heart flutter in her chest.

"Only if you're planning on being an evil stepson." 

Ryan laughs. His hand pats the one she has resting in the open window and she flips her palm to catch his, squeezing for a moment. As sarky as he is - Dingle through and through - she's far more grateful for Ryan's support than she thinks he might know. Johnny and Moses are too young to really understand what's going on; Debbie had been rushed and oddly distant with her congratulations; Noah —

Huh. She doesn't actually remember Noah being there.

"Let us know when you're home," she tells Ryan.

"Yes,  _Mum,_ " he sighs exaggeratedly, pulling away when she steps back and gives him a small wave.

Back inside, Vanessa finds Charity holding glasses with her fingers in each hand. She disappears through to the back and Vanessa slips onto one of the stools, waiting for her. She knows that if she even tries to help Charity and Chas clean up, Charity'll only steer her back into her seat like she's going to break. 

She fiddles with one of the place mats as she waits. Through the back room, she hears Charity and Chas speaking, and the clink of glasses. Everyday, inane sounds which she's come to associate with home. Funny, how this time last year she was sneaking out the back door after spending the night with Charity, convinced they were nothing more than two women who had a physical connection. If anyone had told her then that she'd be wearing an engagement ring on her finger in a year's time, there's no way she would've believed them.

It still shocks her sometimes, how selflessly Charity loves her. She's under no disillusion when it comes to her fiancée. She is selfish and cruel and quick to temper. Yet, Vanessa thinks of the way she'd rambled before she'd proposed. The lift of her eyebrows when she'd realised Vanessa wanted this, too. 

"Hey, babe."

Vanessa blinks back into reality as Charity rounds the bar. Vanessa turns, Charity stepping between her legs and looping her arms around Vanessa. She lets her own hands ghost up Charity's arms, thumbs rubbing against her collarbones when she reaches them.

"I think it's safe to say everyone's happy for us," Vanessa says. She reaches up and rubs at the worry line forming between Charity's brows. "Relax."

"Our Debs could've been a bit cheerier about it."

"Yes, she was distracted, but - "

"Bet it's something to do with Cain."

"Charity." She's stern. Her fiancée's eyes snap back to her instantly. "Stop fussing. You  _can_ be happy, you know."

"Not changed your mind, then?" 

"Never."

Charity's lips are firm against her own. Vanessa sighs into the kiss, hands dropping to Charity's hips to pull her closer. She arches against her when Charity's hands cup her jaw, mouth opening, heat flooding her cheeks. A thrill runs through her when she hears Charity moan softly in response.

"Haven't you two ever heard of getting a room?"

Vanessa laughs as Chas's voice cuts through the room. Charity glares at her cousin over the top of her head, but Chas just glares back, clearing the last of the glasses from the bar.

"I'd better help her tidy up."

"Charity Dingle, offering to tidy up? Who are you and what've you done with my fiancée?"

Charity's smile is bright, the happiness in her eyes perfectly clear. She ducks her head to smudge another kiss against Vanessa's lips, a quiet murmured  _love you_ escaping her before she leaves to help Chas.

Vanessa hums to herself, slipping off of the stool, heading through to the front room to make herself a brew. She flicks the kettle on and reaches up for a mug, wincing slightly when it tugs at her stitches. It's getting easier, every day better than the one before it. Charity still treats her like she's made of glass, a little overbearing but coming from a good place, but she's almost back to normal, really. The scar is ugly and warped, yes, but she tries not to think about it. 

As the kettle boils and she pours the water in the mug, Noah slopes into the room. His eyes flick over to her, over the ring on her left hand, and she gives him a bright smile. He flops down onto the sofa and stares at his phone.

She takes a deep breath. 

"You hungry?"

Noah just shrugs.

"I can put something on. I think there's a pizza in the fridge."

That piques his interest. "Pepperoni?"

"Hawaiian. Your mum's choice," she adds as he curls his lip. "Just pick the pineapple off if you don't like it."

Noah shrugs again. Vanessa considers it progress. She switches the oven on, rifling through the cupboards for a tray. The fact that Noah hangs around instead of waiting for his tea up in his room is a good sign, she decides, as she places it in the oven. She hesitates for a second, then decides to be brave. She and Noah are going to be family, after all. She grabs her mug and takes a seat beside him on the sofa.

She catches him glance at her out of the corner of his eye. He goes back to whatever he's doing on his phone.

"I didn't see you at the engagement party today."

Noah's forehead wrinkles as he frowns. He's so like Charity, too much sometimes. She doesn't think he'd appreciate the comparison, but out of all of Charity's children, Noah is the one most like her. 

"Wasn't invited."

"You what?"

Noah locks his phone, turning it over and over in his hands.

"She forgot about me."

"Noah, I'm sure she didn't - "

"She did. She said those exact words."

Vanessa sighs, silently cursing Charity's big mouth. 

"She wanted to tell you." He frowns deeper. "She did, Noah."

They'd slept in until late this morning. They might've been able to catch him before he headed off to school, but it hadn't exactly been something she'd thought about, not when Charity woke her with a  _good morning, fiancée_ whispered in her ear. Not when she'd kissed her, again, and again, soft at first and then harder, fiercer, so much that it left her shaking with want. Charity still hasn't touched her properly since the stabbing, there's so much desire curling through her, through them both. To have a moment to themselves, something normal after all of the craziness the past week had thrown at them, had been something they'd both treasured, ignoring the rest of the world for a little while.

"S'hardly like it matters."

"What do you mean?"

"She's been married before," Noah says slowly, like she's stupid, "to me Dad. Jai. Declan. It never works out."

"It's different this time."

"No it's not."

" _Yes_ , it is."

She curls her left hand, feeling the ring dig into her finger. Noah glares at her.

"Look, I know your mum has a habit of - well, she's not exactly given you reason to think she won't push people away. But I hope I've given enough for you to believe I'm here to stay."

"Whatever."

It's a knee-jerk reaction from him, she knows. Vanessa takes a steadying sip of her tea. Noah frowns at his palms.

"When you getting married?" 

"We haven't gotten that far yet. I like the idea of a spring wedding, but that'd be too soon."

"Remember to put me on the invitation, yeah?"

"Noah," she says sharply. She takes a deep breath when he turns his face away from her.

"Noah, she repeats, softer this time. "Your mum thinks the absolute world of you. She's just not very good at showing it."

"All me other mate's mums do. They make 'em breakfast and - and come to parent's evenings and  _talk_ to them."

It escapes him in a rush, face still turned away. His voice wobbles towards the end and Vanessa swallows harshly. She thinks this might be the closest she's ever seen Noah to crying. Her hand reaches out to squeeze his shoulder but she stops herself halfway.

"Is that what you want?" She asks quietly. 

He scrubs at his face. "I dunno." 

It's not a lot of him to ask, she knows that. She's experienced it, really. Her childhood, especially after her dad left, was silence. While Charity is loud and sometimes abrasive as a mother, her own had been quietly neglectful. She'd get home sometimes and her mother would jump, like she'd forgotten she had a daughter. There'd been plenty of times, during dinners where neither of them would speak, when she'd wished her mother would just talk to her. Spend time with her. 

Her mother hadn't  _wanted_ to change, though, and that's the difference. Charity beats herself up with every parenting mistake she makes, no matter how small. She's witnessed Charity tossing and turning through the night because Noah's been expelled, because Debbie's in pieces over Joe, because Ross wanted to take Moses. She feels things deeply, even if she refuses to admit it, even if she'd rather tell herself she's just a bad mother, and leave it at that.

Vanessa lets her hand reach out for Noah's shoulder. He tenses under her touch.

"Tell you what... how about we do a movie night? Me, you and your mum? I saw that new Spider-Man advertised. You like hero movies, don't you?"

He finally faces her, cheeks blotchy with tears. 

"Do  _you?_ "

"I've not seen any of the new ones. But you like them. And I love your mum, Noah, and I'm going to marry her, which means we're going to be involved in each other's lives whether you like it or not." 

"It's not - I don't... I don't  _hate_ you or anything."

"I know." 

He peers closer at her. 

"She won't come. She'll forget, or something. She always does."

"Not this time. We're past all the bad stuff, eh?" She squeezes his shoulder and lets go. "Now it's just time to focus on family." 

Vanessa fights to keep her expression light. Noah watches her for a long time, assessing, eyes critical just like his mother's - always waiting for the catch. Whatever her finds he must be happy with because he nods, settling back into the sofa. 

"It's nice. The ring," he offers.

Vanessa glances down, catching the stone shining in the light.

"It's beautiful. She did good."

"I reckon you're mad, though."

"Why's that?"

"You said yes."

Vanessa laughs, genuine and loud. She can see Noah fighting a smile on his own face. It's a small victory.

 

* * *

 

 

Later, when Charity slips into bed with her, Vanessa curls her arm around her fiancée securely, twisting their pyjama-clad legs together. Charity presses a kiss to her forehead. It's not enough, the gentle touch. She twists her head, lips seeking, meeting Charity's. They kiss lazily, so easy it makes her toes curl. Sometimes, she thinks she could happily do nothing but this for days. She'd let the rest of the world melt away, when Charity touches her.

When she lets her hand slip to the waistband of Charity's pyjamas, a hand curls around her wrist, stopping her.

"Ness..."

Vanessa sighs, dropping her head to Charity's shoulder.

"It's been eight days," she points out petulantly.

"Yeah, and you're still hurting."

"I'm not - "

"You  _are,"_ Charity counters. "It's masked by painkillers, yeah. But you're still recovering, babe. You think I wanna risk your health for a bit of a fumble?"

Vanessa props herself up on her elbow. Charity's arm curls beneath her body, a hand on the small of her back, supporting her. It's a little overbearing, the way Charity's been looking after her recently, but she can't help but smile fondly at her fiancée.

"Careful," she says with an unsteady voice, "people might start to think you're with me for more than my body."

Charity laughs, threading her other hand through Vanessa's left. Her thumb rubs over the ring. 

"Busted."

Vanessa rolls her eyes good-naturedly. She leans down and presses a kiss to Charity's lips, chaste this time. She settles against Charity's body, face tucked into her neck, seeking her warmth.

"Heard you've promised our Noah a movie date."

Vanessa squeezes Charity's waist, wiggling impossibly closer. 

"Yes, well, he's probably feeling a little abandoned as of late. Not telling him about the engagement  _didn't_ help."

"Yeah, alright, I messed up. I know. S'not like he cares though, is it?"

"Do you give him the chance to?"

She feels Charity stiffen beneath her touch. 

"Oh, right, yeah. So it's all my fault that's he's moody, yeah?"

" _Charity,_ " she warns, using the stern tone that always quietens her. She holds on even as Charity tries to twist out of her grip. "Look, his brother's  _left_ him. He loved the bones of Joe. Then he gets kicked out of his house, acts up at school and gets in trouble - he needs some attention, Charity. He's a teenager and he's dramatic but he's also lonely. It hurt him that you forgot to tell him."

Charity stares up at the ceiling. Vanessa feels her hand creep up, playing with her hair.

"He deserves a better mum than me."

"No. He wants you as his mum, and he has you," Vanessa returns. Charity's hand cups the back of her neck, rubbing circles. She reaches up to squeeze her wrist. "Let's just try and include him more from now on. Yeah?"

"Together?"

Vanessa tips her head up and smudges a kiss to the edge of Charity's jaw.

"Yes," she agrees. "Together."

 


End file.
